Chapter 11
DEVELOPMENT OF PERSONALITY
The Chapter
at a Glance
What is personality?
Three fundamental characteristics.
Healthy and unhealthy personalities.
Influence of family on personality development.
Culture and personality.
Achievement, love and friendship.
Personality spoiling attitude of parents.
Case of an over protected son.
Healthy personality development.
We now turn
to the problems of personality development and the roles played by various
factors in this development. A brief discussion will be made of the mounding role of family and culture. An attempt will also be made to analyze the
influence of various factors and attitudes of people on the development of
child's personality.
“What is Personality”?
Personality
is a dynamic organization of all the constituent traits of an individual. It is
a unique combination of physical mental, social and moral traits into a well
knit whole—an individual personality. Personality is not a mere loose collection
or haphazard grouping together of these traits without a purpose or coherence.
It is rather a dynamic combination of all these traits which result in a very
well organized and interconnected whole.
“Three Fundamental Characteristics”
Allport's
comprehensive definition of personality runs as follows: "Personality is
the dynamic organization within the individual of those psycho-physical systems
that determine his unique adjustment to his environment". This well known definition by an accepted authority
on the subject clearly brings out the following fundamental characteristics of
personality:-
(1) That it is an organized whole and not a mere
loose and random combination of different traits.
(2) That it is a unity or a dynamic organization
of all the various psychological and physical traits. This means that both the
mental as well as the bodily traits are dynamically combined in the formation
of a personality.
(3) That personality is not a passive something
but a creative organization playing an active role in making adjustment to the
environment.
“Healthy and Unhealthy Personality”
Personality,
therefore, is comprehensive concept which emphasizes the growth and behavior of
the individual as an organized whole. In a mentally diseased person this unity
or organization is disrupted so that the various aspects of the person work in
complete isolation and independence from each other. The personal health and
social efficiency of an individual, therefore, is dependent upon the healthy or
unhealthy development of his personality. The healthy or unhealthy development
of the personality is in turn determined by a number of significant factors.
The role of some such factors will be found discussed in various sections of
this chapter.
“Influence of Family on Personality
Development”
The effect
of the family on the development of a child’s personality cannot be
exaggerated. The child is immensely influenced by the personality traits of the
parents. These influences mould his personality at all levels of growth right
from early infancy to adolescence and even afterwards. The effect of various
parental attitudes on the growth of child’s personality has been discussed in a
preceding chapter on the influence of family. The adverse influence of some
more significant personality spoiling attitudes of parents will be dealt with
in subsequent section of this chapter. In this section certain aspects of
personality development as influenced by family condition will be briefly
discussed.
“Roots of Personality Maladjustment in
the Family”
Certain
personality maladjustments among children are also rooted in the family
atmosphere. If the parents’ personality is infected with certain marked emotion
disturbances it is very hard for the child to remain immune to their adverse
influence. Similarly, any neurotic and
psychotic traits of the parents are liable to affect the personality
development of the children. Certain other factors at home, e.g., low socio-economic
status and the feelings of inferiority commonly associated with it, chronic or
frequent ill-health of parents and other members, may become responsible for
causing much maladjustment in the personality of the child. It may, however, be
remembered that the personality of every child is not necessarily or equally
liable to be influenced by such deleterious factors in the family. Children
differ in their reactions to the family atmosphere. Even in the same family
different children are liable to be differently affected by the same
undesirable factors.
“Influence of Family on Children’s
Morality”
A home
makes a profound influence on the moral and ethical development of the child in
many ways. The general moral tone of the home atmosphere makes a vital impact
on a child’s ethical ideas and behavior. A home where the parents display
genuine regard for moral values and virtues and where immorality is not
tolerated stimulates the child towards desirable moral thought and behavior. On
the contrary, a home whose general atmosphere reflects crime, vice and
immorality provides the most unfavorable ethical environment for the child. Those
children spontaneously identify themselves with the moral values and practices,
whether good or bad, of their parents is a matter of common observation and
experience. Certain other factors in the family also influence children’s moral
development. The socio-economic level of the parents may too affect the moral
growth of the child. An over-crowded home with abject poverty provides
relatively less chance for the moral health of the inmates as compared with a
home where food and accommodation are not serious problems.
“Effect of Faulty Parental Attitudes”
Wrong
parental attitudes, e.g., frequent parental rejection of the children, parental
overlooking of children's faulty moral behavior, etc. makes an unhealthy
influence on their moral development. Needless to re-emphasize, a rejected
child feels insecure. This feeling of insecurity might cause him to feel so
frustrated as to violate all known moral principles. Similarly, a child who
finds that neither daddy nor mummy bothers very much about his occasional
immoral behavior becomes all the more lax and care-free.
“Dangers of Verbalism in Moral Teaching”
It is the
foremost duty of every parent to look after the moral health of the child. The
classical method of imparting moral education to a child is the verbal method.
According to this out-dated method children are given sermons, lectures,
advices, suggestions, warnings, etc. regarding moral values and behavior. They
are then asked to abide by these in their everyday behavior. A child, for
instance, is told that "honesty is the best policy", "it is very
nice to be good and honest", "Rashid is an honest boy and how sweet
and good is he !", "God does not like liars", "give me a
firm promise that now onwards you will never tell lies", etc., etc. Such
verbal techniques usually fail to affect children's actual moral behavior for
the obvious reason that a child's way of learning is entirely different. A
normal, average, healthy child learns through stimulating activity rather than
through boring sermons.
“Practical Method of Moral Education”
Parents
should, therefore, realize that the reasonable method of teaching morality to a
child is through actual practical and concrete training rather than oral
admonishing. As in other fields of learning, so here, deeds prove more potent
and effective than mere words. By their own moral behavior at home parents
should set a desirable personal example for the child to follow. In addition to
this, they should provide concrete situations for the child wherein he can
actually see and learn by personal experience that good moral conduct is in
fact a desirable and a socially useful form of behavior. If for instance, they want
their children to be honest, sympathetic and generous they should so arrange
things and situations at home that the children feel naturally inclined to act
honestly, sympathetically and generously. Along with this concrete and practical training in morality
occasional words about moral behavior can also prove additionally helpful.
Verbal moral training, therefore, has its value for the child only if it is
preceded by actual practical training in moral behavior.
“Culture and Personality”
Culture
gives a permanent mould to the personality of the child. A child is born in a
particular cultural group. Soon after birth he is gradually conditioned to the
demands and expectancies of that culture. He finds that in order to become a
successful participant in the life of the group he must accept their ideas,
habits, attitudes, outlooks, etc. This process of accepting or identifying
oneself with the modes of thought and behavior in vogue in one's group
determines considerably the formation and development of children's
personality. The details of
this development have been discussed in a previous chapter on the Role of
Culture. The influence of culture on a child's personality specifically is
briefly examined in the following pages.
“Diversified Child Training and
Discipline”
In every
culture parents have a certain outlook on habit and discipline training of the
child. The infant is trained to observe some sort of a discipline about
feeding, sleeping, bodily elimination, toilet habits, behavior regarding sex
and other fundamental urges. A child who deviates markedly from the expected
norms of behavior, forms of discipline and authority is usually subjected to
criticism, ridicule, punishment, etc. This frustrates the child leading him to
angry and aggressive behavior. It may also drive him to the realm of fantasy
and introversion. The cultural group of the child also conditions him to
socially acceptable modes of expressing aggression and anger through sports,
debates, discussions, competitive activities, etc. Along with this development
cultural forces prepare the child for affection, love and sympathy as well.
“Imposition of Moral Controls and
Sanctions”
Certain
moral control and sanctions are also growingly imposed on him. Such a moral
discipline aims at preventing him from doing what the adults around him
dislike. Fear, ridicule, sense of guilt, etc., are the common techniques employed
by society to condition the child to accept and practice the controls imposed
upon him by culture. As the child grows older he is also expected to acquire
some useful skills, knowledge, etc.
“Emergence of Child’s Personality”
The ego, or
the self or the personality of the child gradually emerges out of this wide and
diversified instruction and discipline imposed upon him by the culture. Whatever
the methods and techniques are adopted by the society to color the child's
personality with these cultural demands and expectations, the majority of
children generally succeed in acquiring the spirit of the culturally imposed injunctions
and prohibitions. The personality of the child which emerges out of the
experiences, training, discipline and culture of the home, the school and the
street has the following characteristics:— Firstly,
it possesses a set of techniques or modes of satisfying basic needs and urges
in a manner approved by the culture. Secondly,
it has a set of controls which prescribe and proscribe certain forms of behavior
approved and appreciated by the culture. Thirdly,
it has a social outlook, a set of attitudes towards other people.
“Culture Conflicts and Personality
Maladjustments”
Most of the
-children are usually able to come up to the expectations of their respective
cultures to a degree proportionate to their capacity. If they feel that certain
personal demands or other forces are clashing with a cultural demand they are
usually able to achieve harmony by making some sort of a compromise,
reconciliation, adjustment, etc. Certain children, however, fail to achieve a successful
adjustment to the demands of their culture, which might seriously clash with
another equally strong inner or outer force. This phenomenon is known as a
culture conflict. A child who fails to face a culture conflict effectively and
to resolve it adequately is liable to develop into a maladjusted personality.
The phenomenon of culture conflict and some interesting examples of such
conflicts accruing because of the mutually contradictory demands of the
contemporary cultures of Pakistan, India, Japan and America have been examined in
details in the preceding chapter on the Role of Culture.
“The Child not a Passive Recipient”
It is
evident from the foregoing discussion that cultural pressures are immensely
responsible for moulding the personality of the child towards healthy or unhealthy
directions. A child's learning gets its contents, direction and inspiration
from his cultural background. His altitudes, habits, values, moral behavior and
entire outlook on life are largely colored by the culture of the family and the
place in which he happens to have been given birth. The individual child,
however, is not a mere passive recipient of all these cultural influences. He
receives the impact of these forces, accepts these, modifies them, adds to
them and even rejects them at times. Frequently, he even strikes a compromise
between the demands of the culture and his own personal likings and preferences.
In such situations he often makes valuable contributions to the spirit and
content of his culture.
“Both a Carrier and a Creator”
A child, therefore,
is not merely clay in the hands of his culture, passively assuming the shape
its pressures dictate. He influences and is perpetually influenced by the
various cultural forces in his surroundings. He is both the carrier as well as
the creator of his culture.
“Achievement,
Love and Friendship”
The
development of a child's personality is influenced by many other factors and
situations, values and ideals, etc. The sense of personal achievement, for
instance, the modes and values of friendship, love and affection make a
profound influence on the formation and growth of his personality.
“Personal Achievement and Personality Formation”
The sense
of personal achievement plays a vital role in determining the growth of a child‘s
personality. Human individuals have a
natural fascination for the attainment of reputation, fame, prestige, honor,
distinction, recognition, success, skill, etc. All of these ambitions are
values of personal achievement.
(1)
Conflict between Achievement and
Love: At times such personal values
seem to be totally or partially in conflict with the more altruistic values of
friendship and love. For example, an individual wants to achieve something for
himself. He finds that another individual is cherishing a desire to achieve the
same. It thus appears as if his own personal desire for the achievement of some
particular object clashes with having affectionate and friendly relations with
the 'rival' aiming at achieving the same. Careful consideration, however,
reveals that in most situations such a conflict is not real. A complete or at
least a partial reconciliation between the apparently clashing Demands of the self
and that of others could be affected by a balanced and integrative behavior.
Thus the individual may find that he can share the desired object with another
and thus combine both the demands of achieving as well as of loving. Several
other forms of such a reconciliative or integrative approach are possible for
the individual only if he cares to understand the situation carefully.
(2)
Teaching Integrative Behavior: Such integrative behavior, however, is
the product of training. To start with the child is completely self-centered.
Just observe the behavior of an infant at play. He snatches and grabs
everything he can possibly lay his hands on. As he grows older he needs to be
taught gradually that thwarting another's desires in order to fulfill one's
own is an undesirable attitude. Organized sports, group recreations,
competitive activities and even occasional theoretical social instruction at
school and home enables the child to grasp the truth that one can often
harmonize the demands of personal achievement with those of love and affection
for others. Such an understanding leads to the development of integrative behavior
in the child which is socially far more mature and far more beneficial than a
purely selfish behavior focused exclusively on personal achievement. This
realization is a significant milestone in the personality development of the
child.
“Love and Personality Development”
The role
that love and affection play in the development of personality cannot be
over-emphasized. Affection is the positive emotional conditioning towards
persons, pets, objects, etc. A child who gets plenty of love and affection
during infancy and childhood has better chances to practice the same in later
life. He has thus better opportunities of becoming a good mixer and a socially
efficient person. On the contrary, an unfortunate child who is denied the
blessings of love and affection during early years finds it rather difficult to
adjust to other children and adults around him. Social interaction between
friends, the quality and duration of friendly contacts, etc., contribute
immensely towards the growth of a child's personality.
(1) Basis of Friendship: During
early infancy the basis of friendship is nearness in space. Children residing
in the same home or street are usually chums. Early friendships are usually
short-lived. Later friendships, however, are generally founded on wider bases
and may last even for a life-time. Similarity of interests, likes and dislikes,
etc., are the most common determinants of friendship during childhood.
(2) Education for Healthy Friendship: Some children are liable to develop certain undesirable tendencies in
the field of friendship, e.g., over-attachments, selfishness, jealousy,
hostility, exploitative attitudes towards their friends, etc. Such developments
should be critically watched by the parents and teachers. Care should be taken
to uproot them during early infancy.
(3) Creative Friendship promotes Personality Development: Adequate and healthy form of
friendship is the one through which two individuals mutually satisfy the needs
of their personality. Through friendship they minimize each other's undesirable
personality traits. They enrich each other's personality and promote its proper
development. It is one of the foremost tasks of teachers and parents to educate
their children in the fundamentals of such a healthy and creative form of
friendship.
“Personality
Spoiling Attitudes of Parents”
Parental
attitudes towards children also affect the course of their personality
development. If the general attitude of the parents is affectionate and
properly balanced, children feel secure and happy. They develop into cheerful
and adjusted personalities. On the contrary, if parents adopt unhealthy and
unwholesome attitudes towards children their personality development is liable
to be affected very adversely. Two of such wrong parental attitudes which prove personality
spoilers for the children are:—
(1)
Parental Negligence, and
(2)
Parental Over-Protection.
“Parental Negligence”
(1) At Home: Providing
affection and security to a child at home and looking after his basic needs is
the fundamental duty of every parent. Some parents, however, neglect to perform
this duty properly and thus harm the growth of a child's personality.
(2) The Main Causes: Several
causes are responsible for such parental negligence. Some of the prominent ones
are as follows :—
(i)
Lack of proper knowledge on the part of the parents regarding child development.
(ii)
Having received similar negligent treatment from their own parents,
some
parents fail to avoid exhibiting
the same negligent attitude towards their own children.
(iii)
Poverty-stricken or extrovert and ultra-social parents might be so
preoccupied with their own economic social or political problem that the poor
children social or political problems that the poor children figure nowhere in
their attention and consideration.
(iv)
Unsatisfactory marital adjustment may also cause parental neglect.
Thus, for instance, a father who does not love his wife may consequently
dislike and neglect a child from her.
(v)
Unwanted children are common victims of parental negligence. This group of children includes the unattractive,
the hander piped, the children of the sex other than the one which the parents
had wished, etc.
(vi)
Parental jealousy is yet another causative factor. If one parent finds
the other to be so attached to the child as to neglect him altogether he is
liable to feel jealous and adopt negligent attitudes towards the child.
(3) Parental Rejection: The
extreme form of parental negligence is parental rejection. A child is rejected
when he is disliked or is not wanted or totally neglected by one or both of the
parents. A rejecter parents is one who is extremely negligent in providing
care, attention and .security to the child. He is, on the contrary, rather
often aggressive and hostile towards him.
(4) Injurious Effects on the Child: Needless
to point out that such a parental attitude hampers the smooth development of a
child's personality very severely. The common effects of parental rejection on
a child are:—-
I.
The development of a feeling of worthlessness, frustration, anxiety
and insecurity.
iii.
Intense longing to win back parental attention and affection and the
use of novel techniques to attain this
end.
iii. Desire to retaliate against other
people even the parents concerned for parental
callousness and hostility.
(5) Some Prominent Studies: The gist of some prominent studies
revealing the adverse effects of parental rejection on the personality of the
child are as follows:--
i. Levy's
Studies : Levy reveals that some children are apt to react parental
rejection by adopting
attitude of extreme indifference or
apathy. They might
even develop diminished
ability to respond to any affection whatsoever.
ii. Bender's
Research: Bender highlights cases of rejected children who have
developed compulsive
dependency and clinging attitudes.
iii. Symond's
Investigations: Symond points out the possibility of the rejected child's
becoming an over-aggressive and hostile person
who might occasionally resort to
truancy, lying and
stealing.
(6) Treatment of Parents and Children: Proper
parental and pre-parental education and a systematic treatment of parental
complexes and abnormalities are the most effective ways of treating attitude
negligence, rejection or any other emotionally callous parental attitude
towards children.
Most of the
affection-hungry children who are victims of these emotionally adverse
attitudes on the part of the parents develop some acute types of personality
maladjustments and disorders that necessitate special educational and clinical
treatment. Such a treatment aims at providing them with all the necessary
emotional warmth they miss at home. It also focuses attention on demolishing
the various undesirable developments that take root in the personality of such
an unfortunate child.
“Parental Over-Protection”
Parental
over-protection, over-solicitude, or over-indulgence is as injurious for the healthy
growth of a child's personality as negligence and rejection. Over-protection
means excessive caring for, loving and shielding the child, by one or both of
the parents. Usually mothers are guiltier of this excessive parental attitude
towards children.
(1) Prominent causes of Over-Protection: Levy
mentions the following immediate and remote factors which cause mothers to
adopt over-protective attitudes towards their children:—
i. Long
period of anticipation and frustration during which the mother's desire for a
child is thwarted by sterility, miscarriages, or deaths of infants.
ii.
Conditions in the child that
makes him less likely to survive than other children, e.g., physical handicaps,
illnesses which frighten the mother, etc.
iii. Her sexual incompatibility with her
husband.
iv. Social
isolation, lack of common interests between husband and wife, lack of other
social contacts.
v. Emotional
deprivation in early life; unhappy childhood, particularly from the point of
view of individual satisfactions.
vi. Development of a dominating role in
married life.
vii. Mother's own thwarted ambitions.
(2) Effect on Child's Personality: The most
common effect of parental over-protection on the personality of the child is
the development of dependent, aggressive, demanding, etc., attitudes. The
spoiled child is the typical product of such a parental attitude. His
personality combines all the mal-developments associated with parental
over-protection. Being over-indulged and over-protected in childhood the
spoiled child strives to bend the entire universe to fit in with his personal
whims and fancies through an aggressive and over-demanding behavior. Gates et al have
reported from a newspaper the following interesting case of an over-protected
person. It clearly brings out the fact that the injurious consequences of
overprotection may color even the later life of the individual.
“Case of an over protected son”
A.
K., an elderly man of about 55, lost his mother when she was 82 years
old. Until her death he was very well adjusted in his job and was quite happy.
Says A. K.:
“My mother
was a wonderful woman. She was a real, old-fashioned home lady who believed in
keeping the home right. I never had to send my shirts to the laundry. They were
always fresh and clean in my drawer. When I came home at noon my lunch was
there and when I came home for supper my supper was there. And she made my
breakfast, too. She put money on the side for me and when she was ready to kick
off she told me where she had put it away, and I found it there, too. "I had the best
mother anybody ever had. As long as I had her, I didn't worry about anything. I
loved my mother and when I lost her I lost everything. I didn't give a damn
what happened to me after that, I just let myself go. I started drinking and I
worked only when I felt like it. Until then I wasn't a drinker."
(2) Treatment of Over Protection: The
injurious effects of over-protection are usually very difficult to treat. The
over-protected child needs training in getting things done independently,
mixing with other people, feeling affection for adults other than the
over-protecting parents, etc.
On the
parental side the treatment is relatively much more difficult. It is very hard
for such a parent to adopt a balanced emotional attitude towards the loved
child. The right type of parental education emphasizing the necessity of
extending a reasonable amount of protection to children and of avoiding an
overdose of affection proves very helpful.
“Other Miscellaneous Inadequate Parental
Attitudes”
Besides
parental negligence and over-protection there are a number of other inadequate
attitudes of the parents which make an adverse effect on the personality of the
child. Examples of such personality spoiling parental attitudes are: favoritism
towards a particular child, demanding a too high and unrealistic standard of
moral, scholastic and physical achievement from the child, criticizing the
child too much, etc. The adverse influence
of immoral, criminal, permanently diseased or disabled parents on the
personality of the child is too obvious to need any explanation. Some spheres
of such injurious influences have already been highlighted in an earlier
chapter on the Influence of Family.
“Healthy
Personality Development”
Healthy
development of personality, as we have seen, is dependent upon a number of
favorable factors. Adverse influences in the home, the school and general
cultural and social environment of the child harm the cause of a frank and
smooth development of personality. Care should, therefore, be taken to place the child in such
situations as are conducive to the growth of a cheerful, balanced, and creative
personality in him. This also involves keeping undesirable and frustrating
elements at a sufficient distance from his home and school surroundings.
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